Oh mahhhhhh god fam, I am so sorry I have been absent from this blog since the big Tea Advent Calendar posts.
I can explain!
I’ve been doing some soul searching and some other things and as part of my campaign to make 2019 my bitch I have decided to practice some self-compassion.
I’ve been struggling with some self-esteem issues as well as depression for the last several years. I haven’t really bothered with makeup. I don’t actually bother much with mirrors. I want to change that and have been slowly investing in some makeup.
So that is what this segment is about. I want to go back to book reviewing as well as keeping the focus on my biggest obsession which is tea!
Haha First picture to show, but last I took. I have already given the crayon away.
I hope you enjoy this as much as I have. I hope you understand that I am basically a novice. As someone who was wearing makeup in the 90s, I pretty much feel like this is a whole new world. No one is trying to get their powder foundation to match the color of the inside of their wrist. We were an awfully pale back then.
Without further ado here is my review for my first (and last) Lip Monthly mystery bag.
Today’s tea is Adagio’s Capricorn blend. (Blended With Black Tea, White Tea, Assam Melody Tea, Ceylon Sonata Tea, Apple Pieces, Coconut, Rose Petals, Natural Vanilla Flavor & Natural Coconut Flavor)
It’s in my top 5 of all time teas. I enjoyed it with a splash of milk because I’m British like that. (I’m not. I’m from Southern California.) The coconut sets the tone for this tea, and the blending of different black teas really bring it up to a full flavor and dare I say, robust profile.
HAHAHA Oh god, I said robust with half a fuck straight face. Legit this tea is the tits. I love it. Go try it!!
If you go to their website and check out your horoscope blend, you’ll get a fortune.
Here is mine: Mar 16th – You are advised to lead a simple life today and should avoid facing threatening situations and disputes. You should not enter into deals related to purchase of materials, taking decisions, entering into financial investments and starting new projects, etc. You may initiate a journey this day. Identify your detractors and maintain a safe distance from them. Try to overcome your internal enemies like desire, anger, greed, etc and try to overpower them.
Well shit. I totally bought something off Facebook Marketplace today for 10 bucks. I sure as shit hope I don’t regret that purchase…
Also I wanted to start a new project that was Fight Club, but not really cause I can’t talk about it. So Yeah.
Oh and I maybe should wait to start this “new project”… Nah. Fuck it. We’re already like 400 words in. I’m dedicated.
Oh, and if you care, I am listening to Nina Simone. This Album: Nina Simone on Spotify
As a baby Unicorn, I LOVED HELLO KITTY MYSTERY BAGS!! (Ok, I still love them.) I view makeup/glam mystery bags as the adult version of this obsession.
So with a coupon, I was able to get Lip Monthly for $5 bucks as opposed to their regular $12.95 a month price.
I was kinda spoiled by Ipsy’s pretty bags. #extra
I have very little by way of lipstick so I decided this would be a great way to get a bunch of groovy colors and try out what I might like. You know, am I old enough to rock the fuck out of some red lipstick? Or what about blue? I might like that. I have nary a clue friends.
Well, I stalked their social media. All of it. Little to no activity. Only 1 spoiler for March. They made it sound like everyone would be getting it. I did not.
Lip Monthly says you’ll get 4-5 lip related beauty items. A lot of people I noticed on Youtube said that they did not receive 5 items at all and usually it was 3 lip items and 1 beauty.
Yay!! SURPRISE! NO DLS LIPPIE! *@#$%*
I got 4 things, and they are all lips! Score right? Ehhh… 3 of the colors are so close that it’s kind of redundant. The Bellapierre lipstick was stuck to the lid, and I had to get it all over myself to get it back into the holder and now I will never trust it. You know once a lipstick gets a faint taste of freedom they long for it. They will escape at the next inconvenient moment and fuck up your white blouse. White pants. Or in my case the white inside of my Coach clutch. I’m still pissed, and it’s been fucking 13 years.
Look at shifty that Bellapierre is… One of these things is not like the others and that made me sad. (Wish it had been none of these things are like the other.)
The little card that came with it had no descriptions or price information. Most monthly subscriptions have a list of what everything costs and it’s to drive home how you’re saving hundreds of dollars.
I know that what I received was worth more than the $5 I paid for it.
But even so, I still canceled my subscription.
I just wasn’t happy overall. Lip Monthly’s website sucks. It really does. I paid on 2/27, and I got an email it shipped on the 11th, and it arrived today (the 16th.) That is fine, it states that it ships between 10-15 of the month. But like I got my BoxyLux box this month on like the 6th.
I’m pissed that I didn’t get the awesome DLS Lippie that they showed off as their one and only spoiler for March. I really wanted that fucking thing! It had polka dots on the tube! POLKA DOTS! It’s like Uni-nip for me.
Overall I would give the whole Lip Monthly experience an averaged score of 2.5 out of 5.
The products are good. I have already re-homed the crayon. I like the Bellapierre, but I won’t trust it in my everyday makeup bag. The Bang Beauty is way too pink, and I might be skipping it or giving it away. The Pixi by Petra is my favorite, and that is why I’m gonna give the products an overall score of 3 out of 5.
Special Thanks to the Baby Uni for letting me use his pretty skin to swatch this!
Alright friends… I need a name for this segment. Tea, makeup, and other fun stuff. Any ideas? Please comment, and if I use yours, I’ll send you a little surprise. (What a heads up of course because I’m not a stalker. Oh, I totally am. But you know appearances.)