Oh, my goodness. I am so sorry this is late. I have no excuse for this. None. Other than I have no wanted to watch it again because the Tweedledee Twins make me want to punch a wall.
Also, my kid was home for a million days because of Hurricane Irma. I love my child; I love that he is getting an education and socialization. I lovvvvvvvvvvvvvve the absolute silence that is my home right now, as he has finally returned to the hallowed halls of education.
When I started the recap thing, I didn’t want to score easy points off any of the designers. I have always felt they are creative out of thin in, in a fishbowl and until I have been there, I can’t make fun of them.
I have watched every season of Project Runway, and I can say that the Buitendorp twins are without a doubt in my top five most disliked contestants ever.
*Here is a little secret. The Unicorn watches these before writing these up. I tend to Recap as if it’s real time, but I usually have to watch each episode about four times.*
Legit. I don’t want to watch this again. Right, this second I am looking at a crochet pattern for a mystery crochet along because it’s not the twins. *Fighting the urge to get yarn and do that instead of this recap.*
So there is a Disney thing where the kids of the villains make a movie and do cool stuff. They are promoting the sequel. My child isn’t at this stage of Disney so I honestly have no idea what this is and I am not going to talk about it.
So the designers need to make something that fits under good, or evil. Michael since he won last week, gets to pick. I have to say his choices were a bit impressive because he split up the twins. It has to be an evening wear look. Not costumey. *haha good luck with this challenge Margarita*
Tim tells them all that they have 300 bucks for this plus two days.
*Claire at this point says that she is thrilllled to have two days. Keep a pin right here because we’re coming the fuck back to this.*
C&S are in the rose garden sketching, and Claire is thrilled with her willowy model. She calls hers a stunning creature. *Who will be the perfect representation of good. Because that’s the twins in a nutshell. Tall skinny = Good.*
I hate when people talk like that. You know what I’m talking about. Everyone has that one friend who tries to sound avant-garde. Like they stepped out of the Great Gatsby.
This episode’s designer who gets the plus size model is: Margarita! *At first I thought this would be awesome because Margarita is always mentioning how she designs for women.*
Ohhh. But she meant tiny little women. Got it.
WHAT EPISODE IS THIS? WHY IS STILL A THING? For bloody fuck sake, I hope Project Runway is paying for the therapy the models will need after this season. We got someone calling a size 6- HUGE and Jasmine the model has to deal with the weekly designer who gets her and hates it.
Kenya’s model is my favorite. She is fierce, and I can’t wait to see her this week.
Kentaro and Brandon’s little Bromance gives me a breath of fresh air for this episode. I adore them.
*Insert throwaway shots of Mood. I love Swatch, the dog, so I like those bits*
Tim wants to know how the twins will handle the fact they are on opposite sides of the room.
I know that the other designers will feel it with joy in their hearts.
Samantha who I like, she has something on her dress form that looks like it would be good for an unconditional challenge.
Aaron is making his whole dress as practice. Has he never seen this show? He has two days, not two weeks.
*Now let’s go back to that pin about Claire. She is saying that two days could be a designer’s worst nightmare.*
Margarita is in her head, and she is telling everyone who will listen that she designs for REAL women and not avant-garde. They are designing evening wear.
She is now crying to her parents about how she makes women beautiful. *I rolled my eyes. I admit it. Rolled them so hard I saw the wrinkles on my brain.*
Like legit crying because she has a plus-size model. Grow the fuck up. *I should make this a drinking game for my readers. Each time I say fuck. You guys drink.* ** Don’t fucking die from alcohol poisoning.**
Kenya is complaining about her lack of fabric, that she knew but she still got it.
Claire is the bigger problem of the twins. Shawn did well last week, this week Claire is losing her mind. Dragging her sister across the room.
Margarita hates Brandon’s look. It’s pink and sweet. Well, he has good, so that has to be good right? I happen to like it. I love the print he got. I think the top is way too much like everything he’s done. But I love it.
Michael’s fabric is fabulous, and he has a plus-size model, and he’s not bitching at all.
Oh, Amy. I love you, but your cape thing is weird. WEIRD. Her design is so costume like.
Ayana’s dress is confusing me. It’s like little house on the prairie. Someone page Half Pint and let her know that Ayana has her dress.
I’m worried about Kentaro. I have no idea what he’s doing. Either does Tim. Kentaro just admitted he is lost too. Brandon get our friend a map, please!
Samantha mentions that she loves Disney and fairy-tales. She says that she isn’t even embarrassed about it. Her look reminds me of Hot Topic from 1997. It’s missing a little Jack Skellington head on it. Tim hurt her feelings because this is how she designs. She identifies as spooky. I love horror and scary things, and I don’t see it. I also don’t get why people qualify things. I like this, and I’m not embarrassed by it! Great? Just like it then. The rest is useless information. Let your freak flag fly.
Michaels model loves her dress, and I love her personality. They have knocked this look out of the park. He listened to her, and they made it work. He hasn’t complained.
Claire can’t-do this without Shawn. It’s 100% obvious. I have barely seen Shawn’s dress because she has been helping Claire the whole time.
Samantha is reigning in her spookiness. I JUST DON’T SEE IT. Almost 40 years of horror-loving and I don’t see the “spooky” at all in any part of Samantha’s dress. She’s worried she’ll be at the bottom and I agree. It’s ugly.
Claire and her sun visor hat that she is wearing indoors is unreal. Her dress looks like a costume. It’s a gossamer pile of fairy puke.
I legit have no idea what the fuck Aaron’s dress is about.
Claire hates Brandon’s dress.
Samantha just zippered her model’s nipple in her dress. I’m am telling you. Therapy and medical attention for all the models.
Shawn: Kenya’s look is an oxblood mariachi band I think it’s heinous. <~ Hi I’m a jealous twat. *Wait did I say that out loud in the quote box? Fuck.* **Take a drink bitches**
I fucking love Kenya’s look. That outfit I would wear right now. I would wear it in parts because it’s brilliantly made.
Claire think’s Samantha’s is a hot mess.
Amy burns Claire’s dress, does it calmly and with big words. Someone will have to explain it to Claire when they rewatch the series.
I feel so bad for Aaron’s model. I have never seen a dress like that come out on the runway.
Michael’s model is going to slay the fucking runway. She knows it. You should be aware it too.
The Unicorn’s Rank:
- Brandon **
- Margarita (She listened to her model and knocked it out of the park. Thank god with all that crying and hysterics.)
- Batani (I feel like we hardly see her dress at all this episode.)
- Aaron **
I feel like Claire’s dress is country music, Taylor Swift. While Shawn’s dress is off her new album – Look what you made me do. INDEED.
Tim Gunn always waves and blows kisses at the same time. He’s so adorable.
Shawn talks about her dress, and she can’t even sell it.
Brandon’s dress is so him. Which is good, the judges have to know that he made that.
So Aaron’s design almost made Zac puke. It looks like a cross between a pantsuit pinata. My friend KS said “Sea Witch of Period Toilet Paper” I have to agree.
Batani hardly was seen from this whole show, but her dress is very well done. Utterly forgettable. I think she’ll be safe.
Ayana’s dress looked better when her Model’s hair was uncovered in my opinion. It gave her a chic boho feel.
Kenya’s design slays. Her model killed it.
The Top Three:
Brandon, Michael, and Kenya. (WOW! I agree with this!! Will never happen again.)
The Bottom Three:
Aaron, Claire, and Samantha.
Brandon won. Aaron went home.
This is like a P.S. To this episode. I usually stop at this point. But I felt like I needed to talk about it.
Watching Claire during this whole thing is just pissing me off. They love Brandon’s, and she’s unable to hide her hate on her face.
Zac and Nina rip her apart, and she just takes it. But I can tell that disagrees. She agrees out loud, but her face is screaming something different.
The reason I am doing this P.S. because as a writer I need and value criticism. It is part of what I do. Designers also deal with it. You can’t move forward without it, in my opinion.
I am not going to gravel and say OH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I’ll do better next week. I don’t feel I deserve to be on the bottom. – Claire
Everyone was shocked when she came back, and she refuses to accept her design sucked. I have to believe it’s a lack of taste. I don’t know how much longer the twins will be able to do each other’s work.
I’m so over the twins. The complaining, the whining, the venom towards other designers looks. It’s just not fun to watch.
Thanks for tuning into this recap. It’s been real. It’s been fun, but this episode wasn’t real fun.