Book Review FU. Best Title Ever.

 

FU: Fixer Uppers is the first book by Devon McCormack that I’ve read. So I wasn’t exactly positive what I was expecting. I enjoyed the suspense of not knowing what I was going to read. I find that as a super reader and writer I end up going for the same thing over and over. *I regret reading all 39423957293 Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Books.* **I’m a completest.**

Recently I had found myself in a literary rut of sorts. After I had finished Morgan Elektra’s A Single Heartbeat, I was in a book limbo.

Book Limbo: (Noun) That hellish place you roam between your last favorite book and your newest favorite book. Often filled with books you’ve read a million times before, shampoo bottles, and public notices at bus stops.

I needed fun and new. I wanted a story that I could take home for the night, pull its hair and call it a few light-hearted nasty names. I would, of course, cook it breakfast in the morning and then we’d never see each other again. A hot and steamy affair without the walk of shame.

This book utterly failed.

It failed because I enjoyed it and wanted it to stay longer than breakfast. In fact, I took the damn thing to lunch.

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Both the book and the burger were as delish as they appear. 

In fact, while I was enjoying my meal the waitress took a peek at what I was reading. I think she was equally hooked as I was. It was pretty impressive to gush with a complete stranger over how great the book was, how she had to get it immediately and read it that night.

I read FU twice so I could write this review. *No really, I did it because I wanted to.* The two main characters were fully formed and had their own voices. Mikey and Scott’s first meeting starts off very rocky, but soon it blossoms into so much more.

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This picture would’ve come out better, had I not been worried my Iphone 7 was gonna pull a Luca Brasi and sleep with the goddamn fishes. 

The dialogue in this book is what captures and makes it enjoyable to read more than once. The banter between the characters feels real, and it adds to Mr. McCormack’s hot as fuck sex scenes. (Trust me, read the book, and you’ll understand why I had to use fuck. It’s so necessary.)

There is family conflict that I think comes across as real. I didn’t feel any of the standard formula read with this. There was angst, but not really where I expected it to be. That was refreshing. It was as close as one could get to being a fairy-tale without actually being cliche. *Think the distance from Spanky’s Adult Emporium to DLand in Anaheim California. Oh yeah this California Girl went there…* **Actually she’s been there a few times.**

Mikey and Scott’s relationship while having tons of delightful sex also built up into something more. It was lust at first sight for sure, but it evolves at a perfect pace. The book’s blurb gave away the bit that there would be a happy ending. That didn’t mean much though. They were so fun to read that I rooted for them anyway. *I totally spoke to my iphone a few times. A lot of C’mon guys, don’t be assholes.* The epilogue made me wish for another 200 pages.

FU is the perfect book if you love hot erotica, that doesn’t bog you down with a bunch of useless drama for the sake of filling in a word count. I am going to have to read all of Devon McCormack’s books now. I’m pretty excited so expect to see more reviews of them here.

I didn’t want to give away spoilers because you should read it. Now. Go. Why ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? Shoo.

 

OK fine. Here are links.

FU: Fixer Uppers by Devon McCormack

Google Spanky’s if you want their info. Only 15 minutes from the happiest place on Earth.. Just sayin.

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Read the book so you know why this made me giggle. I think Mikey would totes enjoy the nudge nudge of this. Mr. Fucks-Like-A- Champ. 

 

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Hello Easter Bunny!

The Easter Bunny arrived in our home as expected. *Because I am the Easter Bunny in my house, so I knew who was getting the goods and who was getting rotten eggs.*

This year, however, my Permanent Roommate surprised me with a few little things. *Like totes surprised me.* **I almost had vapors.** ***I’m hardly ever surprised because I’m as patient as a six-year-old on Christmas morning with most things.***

I have been researching another tea review blog as well as reading for my next review. But once I saw what the Bunneh brought me, I had to throw up a small little blog to honor it.

Excuse my lack of trying to hide the evidence I live with a five-year-old frat boy.

Here it is… My Easter surprise!

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Look at Hello Sushi Chef Kitty!! I think that Bunny is jelly. 

Hello Kitty, limited edition green tea. Traditional and unsweetened. Holy shit. No really. HOLLLLLLY SHIT. It’s as if the magic of Easter has come together to give me two things I love so much that I could be singing to the universe as if I was a Disney Princess. Like my fairy godmother would bring this to me, and I would be bibbidi bobbidi booing all freaking day.

It’s hard to find traditional pre-made green tea and particularly challenging to find it in this part of the world unsweetened. Which to be honest is kinda silly. Traditionally green tea isn’t sweet.

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Here is my 5 year old, modeling his finger for your viewing enjoyment. 

The can boasts “The unique and light flavor of this green tea is refreshing and can be enjoyed anytime.”

Great. I’m gonna enjoy this right now. NOW. That’s why I had to write a blog about it and not wait. *Please see the previous statement about my level of patience.*

Well, I just took a sip. I usually drink my green tea hot, but enjoy it chilled as well. I gotta say, the flavor is very light even for traditional green tea.

 

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That chick is pissed at me for opening the limited edition can. He was banking on it as a retirement investment I think… 

I suppose I was prepared for a stronger tea profile since it’s in a can. It is good. If you’re a tea lover and enjoy straight green tea, you’d enjoy this. I am so keeping this can and going to use it as a beginner planter for my lemon bergamot seeds.

Overall a splendid surprise from the Easter Bunny! Thank you, you big fuzzy bun bun guy!!

 

*** I tried to find if you can buy this online. I can’t find anything. Well there were a few blogs of fan-humans such as myself, but no links for purchase. This can was found in Publix Grocery Store, over in the sushi section. Sorry I can’t be much more of a help. ***

Tea Time: Organic Black Chai Tea

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This is what a quiet moment looks like for me…

I can recall almost in perfect detail the moment I had my first chai tea. My friend Kris had started working at Starbucks, and he made me a Chai Tea Latte. *You language peeps know how utterly redundant this name is* ** Really it’s like saying Tea Tea Milk.** ***It’s ok to giggle about teetee milk.***

I was instantly hooked. To this day, fifteen years later it’s still my go-to drink when I’m at Starbucks.

I do however prefer it much more traditionally, and when I’m at home, I feel that with the strong flavors of this tea it’s best to hold back on the sweeteners.

Most chai tea that we drink is black tea. It comes prepackaged, and all you need to do is drop a tea bag into your mug and enjoy the aromatics.

Authentic chai tea is called Masala Chai. It can be brewed directly into the milk. Which if you read my last blog, you know how crazy that is to me. But in this case, it’s a true experience to have Masala Chai. 

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I always give this bird inner dialogue… “Excuse me Misses, I need to barf coconut milk into your cup. I had a night out with the lads and Arsenal lost. Sodding Premier League.”  Yes the bird is maybe British?

Interestingly, there is no fixed recipe for Chai. It’s agreed upon, by the tea gods, that a good chai should have milk, sugar, cardamom, and ginger. Plus strong black tea. Unless you’re enjoying Kashmiri Chai, then it’s gunpowder tea. Which is a tea we will visit on another day.

In India, the spice combo used is called Karha. The Karha may include Tea Leaves, Allspice, Cardamom, Cinnamon, Clove, Ginger Root, Honey, Nutmeg, Peppercorn, Star Anise, Vanilla and other spices. *That bit was taken from Wikipedia.*

Traditionally in India, water buffalo milk is used to make this beverage. (I would like to try it this way.) Places in India called Chai Wallahs will have their own version, karha blends that are old family recipes. This is a very cool thing because at home you can try your hand at your own blend. I enjoy more cinnamon to clove and almost no vanilla. Westerners use allspice in place of some spices that aren’t as available.

When you get your Tea Tea Latte at Starbucks, you should ask for a shot of cinnamon. It’s delightful.

The tea that I am currently enjoying is English Tea Shop brand grown organically and certified fair trade.

I like my black teas to be brewed to almost the point of a roiling boil or 100 degrees F. ( 37 C for the rest of the universe.)

I steep it for five minutes. Sometimes a little longer, I enjoy this style of tea to be very strong, but not overly long. You don’t want to release the bitter flavor of the tannins. This tea in addition to black tea also had cinnamon, cardamon, cloves, and orange peel. I don’t taste the orange in this at all. It has a lesser percentage of some of the other traditional karha as well. I added more cinnamon because I love it and it’s my safe word. *No really it is 😉 *

Usually, I use cream when I make chai tea because it’s thicker. I also include honey as a sweetener. However, this time I used coconut milk. It’s completely baffling that I haven’t thought to try this before. It was coconut milk coffee creamer. (I know. I feel your judgment…) It worked wonderfully. The creamer was thicker, so I still achieved the right umami. *I hate this word and used it to amuse myself, but it’s the closest I can get to the right thing. Mouthfeel would be another word, which I don’t like either.* I used no other sweetener because none of was needed.

Overall, I used too much creamer, but it was ok. I enjoyed this combo and will probably try it again soon. Maybe with less creamer and a dash of fresh ginger. I will definitely enjoy playing with it.

The whole cuppa was enjoyed with some hazelnut milk chocolate frogs and a book that I am reading for my next book review. I highly recommend this brand of tea.

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The Frogs are like… Helllllllllllo there… You can tell. That Frog is into that guy. Maybe I’m projecting…

You can get some here. This is the splendid set that I have!! I love it! You can find it at Cost World Market as well as Amazon.

This is the Chai all by it’s lonesome.

 

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So I’m pretty cruel… Poor wittle froggies. Tasty, tasty bastards. 

The Tea Habits of a Tea Addict.

I drink a lot of tea. I’m almost certain that if I didn’t wear perfume, my natural body essence is a cross between bergamot and theanine. So basically I’m a relaxed orange.

I cannot think of a tea that I have tried that I didn’t enjoy. I love it iced, hot, and mixed with Lemonade and vodka. My Arnie Palmers rock so hard. It all started when I was little and got my first taste of iced sweet tea. I was hooked and have been hooked since.

Like with coffee, there are habits that most people will have in regards to their drinking of tea. My sister takes her coffee without sugar but needs enough milk to make it blonde.

Some tea people add the milk or creamer in before the hot water so it can grow to room temperature while they’re prepping. Those people are also reckless and open portals to hell when they play with Lament configurations. For me, milk doesn’t touch the cup until the tea is steeped. I need it to be exactly the right color. Otherwise, TEPIDOPHOBIA kicks in, and this Unicorn gets stabby.

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One of the few places in my life where my OCD isn’t bothered by the lack of matching. Silly sentiment.

My favorite everyday tea is PG Tips. It’s an English, black tea. This is my go to tea. Had a bad day? Have a cuppa. Want to relax and work on some knitting/crocheting? Decaf PG Tips is just as good as the regular.

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I like my English tea blond. Like my English men. *Swoons..Martin Freeman*

I have in my house over 50 different kinds of teas. This is the tea that I drink every day.

My habits for brewing new tea are concrete. I use bottled water for the first batch. I boil the water to the right temperature for the type of tea. Different tea types require different heat. I drink it straight. Then I try it with sugar and then the experiments with milk, cream, half and half happen.

I have not yet found PG Tips brand English Breakfast. Because I don’t live in England where this magical tea runs wild and free in Tesco. I would love to try that, and it would probably become my favorite first thing in the morning tea.

But right now as I am writing this, I am enjoying a hot cuppa. With half and half. PG Tips doesn’t get sugar because I think it changes the taste to significantly.

I do put sugar in my English Breakfast, but that is a whole other blog post.

Now I must get back to my crochet project. A little dishtowel and coaster set for my kid’s teacher.

 

Pattern can be found HERE. Yarn used in this post is Lily’s Sugar N’ Cream. The colorway is Emerald Isle. The hook is H. There is a lovely tutorial on Youtube by Crochet Crowd. 

The First Book Review: Plus WINE!

***Disclaimer*** I may or may not be a “beta” reader for Morgan Elektra… I may have read this story so many times, that I had to start naming my orgasms after the characters in her story, in order to keep track of them. That said, everything in this review is 100% accurate. I won’t write a glowing review unless it’s earned. If I had found this story lacking, I never would’ve reviewed it. (Yeah, so I forgot how to blog. Sorry babe.) I am so lucky that one of my best friends is brilliant. I am a shitty liar as you can see, so its nice not having to. 

Summer is fast approaching (it already feels like summer here), and I wanted to get the jump on the rush. I live in a very touristy part of the world (Cocoa Beach, Florida), and here in our town, we take Spring Break and Summer vacation seriously.

For the next few months, I will be reviewing books that I feel are perfect for you to carry with you to the beach. Or the river, park, road trips, or any place!

 

The Book Blurb:

He didn’t have to search the crowd for even a second. As soon as he lifted his lids, he saw him. Half in shadow, his voyeur leaned against a wide column, arms crossed over his chest. His black suit was perfectly tailored to his long, lean body. The crisp, blue shirt underneath complemented the ebony hair and porcelain skin. He looked expensive and elegant, despite the scruff of stubble on his cheeks and chin.

 

But it was the look in his dark eyes that went right to the base of Will’s spine like a bolt of lightning.

 

It was feral and hungry and needy. Dangerous.

 

Just Will’s type.

 

Need a minute? I know right? When I read that blurb, I knew there was no way I was going to be able to pair this with tea. I mean I could try.. Maybe a hot and spicy chai? But no. I had to review this baby with wine. I tried a Malbec. As a mum, it felt like a vacation just on its own.

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Yes, I put it in a tea cup. It’s a tea blog… 🙂 I’m a classy Unicorn.

Right away A Single Heartbeat captured my attention. I found myself instantly interested in this universe and intrigued by the setup.

The author, Morgan Elektra crafted words together to make a visually stunning world that I didn’t put down until I had read the whole thing.

First, we meet Reese. He’s a two-hundred-year-old vampire who sips Scotch. He had me at expensive Scotch.

“Nearly a hundred thousand nights had passed since he’d first embraced immortality, and there wasn’t any act he hadn’t tried, any delight he had yet to sample.”

This was the moment I looked around me to make sure I wasn’t about to embarrass myself in public. I don’t want to share more, but let’s just say that Reese is hot as hell.

Now we get to the next main character, Will. Will is a hunter. A man who spends so much time in shadows. A man who brings monsters to justice.

Reese and Will finally meet and it’s instant sexual napalm. (I love that term… Thanks to that Hipster singer guy who used it first.)

The instant chemistry was apparent. I know that it was the point of the story, but I have read some books where I wonder if the main characters can stand each other and why did the writer throw them together.

Perfect dialogue, each character felt real and had a voice that was clear and it flowed so well.

Then it came to the sexy times.

At this point I was well into the Melbec and I recall with perfect slightly foggy recall, that the sexy times left me holding the glass to my lips because I forgot I was drinking it.

To me that is a 5 star review. I forgot what I was doing because it was so engaging and hot that I lost track of important things, like drinking.

Morgan Elektra’s ability to write is clear from the start but once they got their clothes off it was magical.

I am so thrilled that she has decided to make this into a series and that there will be more to read. I could go over this story word by word because I enjoyed it that much. I really don’t want to, because you should go buy it and read it.

This book deserves 4.5 stars out of 5. *See I’m unbiased* I was left wanting more and because I’m a snarky Unicorn, I dinged her on that. Hopefully future stories in this series will be longer… 🙂

So go here – Buy links:

Direct from MLR Press

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Kobo

Also you should go here and read her blog. By Morgan Elektra

 

The Wine mentioned in this blog was lovely. I had never had a red that I enjoyed as much and I look forward to trying more.

It was a Malbec by Handcraft Wines. Part of their artisan collection. I could taste hints of plum and cocoa. It wasn’t sweet and I liked that a lot. It would’ve been lovely with something Italian, but it paired so well with A Single Heartbeat sexy times that I drank most of the bottle.

I would give this wine a 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Once More Into The Breach

I would consider myself a serial blogger. I love blogging, and usually, I start out strong and then get distracted by bright and shiny things. *Plot bunnies for novels usually* 

I guess I should stress that I am unapologetic and completely aware that there is evidence to support that I will ditch this blog too.

This is my third blog.

Yes. My third. I hear you in the back… I can sense your smirky, smirk. 

This is the first blog that is about me. Not about what I am doing, or a theme…

(Yes, yes. Tea and book reviews. I also sense a theme.. )

But it’s not. If you know me well and after this blog, you will, tea and books are who I am.

This blog will not only be about those things, but you can also expect to hear all about my writing. My search for a pen name. Or if I want a pen name – It changes dramatically by the season and day of the week.

I will be writing about my life. The struggles of being a woman, wife, mother, writer, adventurer, and unicorn.

Other topics will be friends, wine, and music. Maybe. The point is, I sincerely hope that you take another chance with me and venture once more into the breach with me. Spend time with the rambling that happens in my head.

Hopefully, I will entertain you, and you’ll come back for tea and bring friends.